The greatest and best tournament in the world. Tribute.

As you may know, I consider myself something of a Rock Paper Scissors enthusiast. I am a card-carrying member of the World RPS Society, and I co-founded a high school team which had several impressive accomplishments: getting featured on the Nickelodeon network; achieving recognition as a chartered school organization; and most importantly, making kickass t-shirts. My blood, sweat, and tears went into the varsity team, and my subpar performance in AP European History reflects this prioritizing. But after high school, my activity in the sport declined. Perhaps because no collegiate circuit existed at Bowdoin. Perhaps because I decided it would be wise to keep my love of a game that most people outgrow by the age of five on the DL if I ever wanted to get laid. The reason's not important. The point is that my true passion was sidelined, and for four years I wandered through life with neither purpose nor direction.

...Until recently, when my friend Mike and I competed in the International Rock Paper Scissors Championship in Toronto, Canada. We each took a day off to allow for travel to our hometown of Buffalo, then relaxed for a day before leaving our fair city for the forgotten tundra of America, Jr.

The events that ensued can be described only as a complete and utter shit show. I have no idea how in the hell so many people could exist with a passion such as ours (even with our custom-made shirts we were among the more normally attired participants), but I do know that about 500 RPS athletes from around the globe competed in the tournament. We met people from England, Norway, and Australia, and the night was beyond insane. Mike and I were both eliminated in the first round. He lost to a guy from England who ended up winning the whole tournament (!) and I lost to some random girl who happened to be pretty attractive, and as it turns out, I always lose when I RPS against hot girls. But perhaps the losses were a blessing in disguise, as they allowed us to devote the remainder of the evening to consuming exorbitant amounts of ale and playing street RPS with the various crazies who attended the event. (Street RPS is an unofficial match in which you bet official World RPS money on best-of-3 games. We won a ton of them, and proceeded to rub the cash all over our faces and bodies, much to the chagrin of our recent victims.) To make a long story which we don't really remember short, it was pretty much the greatest thing that has ever happened. Period. A few choice pics:

Yep, the greatest thing ever. RPS is back, baby, and next year I intend to not only win the tournament, but also... well, I plan to win the tournament. But even if I don't, as long as there is beer and guys like the one above with mullets and giant "Shock 'Em!" foam fingers, I'll be a happy man.