The Haberdasher

Monday, August 28, 2006

Are you serious? Is he serious?

What does Trev think this is, Summer NBC?
Where if I haven't seen it, then it's new to me?
Homes, I’ve seen this crap and I must confess
Your busted verse is more like CBS
Because whenever I read it I see BS
You fed me so much shit I need to pee BS.
PBS? I digress. That’s public access.
And there’s no way they’d show the raps you throw;
It’s family TV and no parent wants to see
Their little Billy tuning in to some freak with VD
Who thinks lyrical perfection is the Randy Savage CD.
And here’s an aside for your girlfriend Kelly:

(Trev’s so full of sex germs it stings him to pee.
Please never ever touch his tiny wee-wee.
You shouldn’t come near it with a ten-foot pole
…But speaking of poles, I’ll slow my rolls
And give T.Mac and his sack a little more slack
Because I’m not really afraid Trev will ever get laid.
From the jokes that he’s made and the ugly he’s displayed
His only chance at a maid is if she got paid,
And this jerk is so poor he’ll be jerking it more
Than Smithy on Viagra watching internet whores.)

Trev I’m sorry for the woe, it’s just time that you know
Your flow is slow as Edgar Allen Poe
On a trip caused by snorting way too much blow.
And speaking of blow, I know this one’s low,
But I think I should mention your mother’s a hoe.
(I guess that’s cliché but I couldn’t say no.
Ask her if you don’t believe – she’ll say it’s so.)

I gotta work in the AM so I’m peacing out
But not before I shout what this rap’s all about.
Is Trev posting his grooves to impress all the females?
Hoping they’ll clutter his inbox with emails?
Does this clown think he stands a chance
At getting in all but the fattest chicks’ pants?
(Kel, you’re excluded, completely precluded,
The only hottie to dig the stench Trevor’s exuded.)
The words of this nerd are ruthlessly absurd.
And now he’s posting street trash we’ve already heard.
Sir, no more reruns. Be more inventive,
Give me rhymes that are pensive and keenly intensive,
These anemic puns give me no incentive
To dominate you with a repertoire extensive.
But now that I’ve wandered with an aire cognoscenti
I’ll explain that mostly I just meant he
Sucks.
Like a duck.
The cat sat on the mat.
Sit, Boo-Boo, sit. Good dog.

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