Everything I need to know about my job I learned from "Snakes on a Plane."

By now everyone has heard of the movie Snakes on a Plane. Make no mistake about it: this movie's premise is ridiculous. (In case you were wondering, there are these snakes, and wouldn't you know it, they're on this plane.) Stupid? Yes. Idiotic? Yes.

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This movie should be a flop. But against all odds, Snakes on a Plane is poised to be one of the biggest releases of the summer. Why? Because the marketing team behind the promotion of this movie played to their audience perfectly. Snakes on a Plane may be a pretty bad movie, but it's proud of it. Okay, first of all, it's CALLED Snakes on a Plane. If this movie really took itself seriously, it would have some cliché and vague (albeit haunting) name like Terminal Altitude or The Cobra. But no -- this movie is unusual in that it doesn't try to be anything that it is not. It's that unique character -- coupled with the fact that this will be a hilariously bad film -- that appeals to the young moviegoer. Why do I own t-shirts that say "Jive Turkey" (which I am far too suburban-white-pretty-boy to wear) and "Super Mario Bros." (which just indicates my dorkiness)? Because they are ironic, and as far as I am concerned, they are therefore pretty cool. Liking a movie about snakes on a plane -- especially a movie about snakes on a plane that is called Snakes on a Plane -- is so ridiculous that it is funny.

Samuel L. Jackson said he'd only act in the film if the producers KEPT the Snakes on a Plane title. I wonder if, at the time, he knew what a good decision that was. New Line Cinema agreed (grudgingly? I don't know), and as time went by, rumors about the movie spread. It was pretty much agreed by Internet nerds everywhere that the movie looked really, really stupid -- so stupid, in fact, that it was going to be GREAT. The premise was so weird and hilarious that people began to guess what scenes and quotes would look and sound like. Here must have been the crossroads for New Line: ignore the unexpected (but misleading?) buzz, and market the movie as something really inventive and engaging; or pay heed to the nerds and give them what they expect: a movie that is both aware and proud of its absurdity. The answer: let's make the movie look EVEN STUPIDER than it probably is. Face it: it's dumb. We might as well have some fun with it. But of course, the ultimate irony is that this paradoxical "This is a bad movie" marketing strategy is VERY well planned out. Result: profit. According to Wikipedia, New Line even added a line that was presented online as a parody of Samuel L. Jackson's usual film characters: "That's it! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!" Way to pander to your audience.

The world didn't need another crappy action movie with Samuel L. Jackson in another of his usual roles. The world did need a crappy action movie that managed to be a parody of crappy action movies, without really trying, all the while knowing how ridiculous it was. This movie should have been a box office bomb, but you gotta hand it to the business fatcats involved in the promotion of this movie -- they made a loser into a winner.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take what I've learned, and use it to sell toothpaste. Buy Crest.